Its time to down the curtains on this eventful year .... 2007!! was one of most exicting years for me so far ....travel, fun ,friends,booze, free wisdom....all in all a great year for self realization ....Since its time for the last blog of this year i intend to close it in a mood am in right now and before i go a small something to get us all going into the new year ....
Woods are lovely dark and deep,
But i have promises to keep,
And miles to go before i sleep,
And miles to go before i sleep.
....Wishing you a Happy and prosperous New year .....
Monday, December 31, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Some Calvanisms ......
Iam using Work as a pretext for not posting any new entry on my not so famous blog.....till then enjoy some calvanisms ....
I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge.
I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge.
This is my favourite ...... :-)
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
Where do we keep all our chainsaws, Mom?
That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.
Its no use! Everybody gets good enemies except me.
What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?
As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.
This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen ...
I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.
I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information
C: "Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?"
H: "I'm not sure that man needs the help."
Leave a comment to add more soem of your favourites ......
Monday, December 17, 2007
They are all around us .....
"Dude ....i must have eaten like 3 dosas by now....and thats odd"
"Hmm...so whats the whole point here .......he said"
My stomach aches a little ..thats the whole point....i said with "what !! " face .....
"Wait a minute .....i ate 4 ...thats even ....but my stomach does not ache....see its not about even or odd number of dosas.... its just that your stomach`s screwed."
aaahh....gawddddd .....iam gone now ....enough of this ......
"Hmm...so whats the whole point here .......he said"
My stomach aches a little ..thats the whole point....i said with "what !! " face .....
"Wait a minute .....i ate 4 ...thats even ....but my stomach does not ache....see its not about even or odd number of dosas.... its just that your stomach`s screwed."
aaahh....gawddddd .....iam gone now ....enough of this ......
Monday, December 3, 2007
The Greedy Warrior.......
This is my first attempt at some serious poetry
Alas! I found the land of the magic lamps
Running the deserts and the deadly swamps
Now, show me the rubies and the bags of Gold
For I vanquished the men mighty and bold
The Lads of the land that had fought me along
Wielding their swords short and so long
Piercing and killing I spilt in their blood
For mercy and pity I had none to shed
The lands of the Gold so vast I had seen
Gardens of sapphires so shiny and serene
Hours had passed as I stared and I saw
Like a statue of stone I stood there in Awe
Sweet as the nectars were the songs that I heard
Wondered what Angel had blessed this lovely bird
A maiden I saw so lovely than thought
Reward for the wars i had so long fought
Fairer than fairies as gentle as dove
A beauty she made me fall in her love
Years of wisdom I left there to rot
Drunk in that beauty I followed her path
Maiden she took me to the fountains of wine
Nectars I drank, so sweet and so fine
Lost in her eyes I ceased being strong
Drunken in lust I didn’t know what was wrong
Holding my hands said come with me Oh! My dear
For those lands of gold are not so near
Closing my eyes said magic spells in my ears
Made me realise the worst of my fears
Greatest of the fighters my swords had they killed
Greed had made me too weak and ill willed
Digging that dagger deep into my chest
She put to a sleep which I could not resist
Darker the lands when i opened my eyes
Paying the price for the lust and the vice
Gone were the rubies and the gardens of gold
For lost all the wisdom I was once being told
In greed of the gold I searched every door
For it’s sweeter than the touch of the wine or a whore
For greed is the Pain and Greed is the vice
It’s the demon that kills you in a lovely disguise
------ Sai
Alas! I found the land of the magic lamps
Running the deserts and the deadly swamps
Now, show me the rubies and the bags of Gold
For I vanquished the men mighty and bold
The Lads of the land that had fought me along
Wielding their swords short and so long
Piercing and killing I spilt in their blood
For mercy and pity I had none to shed
The lands of the Gold so vast I had seen
Gardens of sapphires so shiny and serene
Hours had passed as I stared and I saw
Like a statue of stone I stood there in Awe
Sweet as the nectars were the songs that I heard
Wondered what Angel had blessed this lovely bird
A maiden I saw so lovely than thought
Reward for the wars i had so long fought
Fairer than fairies as gentle as dove
A beauty she made me fall in her love
Years of wisdom I left there to rot
Drunk in that beauty I followed her path
Maiden she took me to the fountains of wine
Nectars I drank, so sweet and so fine
Lost in her eyes I ceased being strong
Drunken in lust I didn’t know what was wrong
Holding my hands said come with me Oh! My dear
For those lands of gold are not so near
Closing my eyes said magic spells in my ears
Made me realise the worst of my fears
Greatest of the fighters my swords had they killed
Greed had made me too weak and ill willed
Digging that dagger deep into my chest
She put to a sleep which I could not resist
Darker the lands when i opened my eyes
Paying the price for the lust and the vice
Gone were the rubies and the gardens of gold
For lost all the wisdom I was once being told
In greed of the gold I searched every door
For it’s sweeter than the touch of the wine or a whore
For greed is the Pain and Greed is the vice
It’s the demon that kills you in a lovely disguise
------ Sai
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Surf Excel ..nahi nahi ..Sirf Excel...
So the coffee arrives on the table...the strong aroma of the coffee filled the room and diverted my attention to the coffee mugs ...... naturally being a moron at dealing with pretty women, i did not realise that this lady was trying to start a conversation......"What do you do?" she asked...Hmmm ..... good question.....one of those standard "lets cut the ice " kinda question ... "well ,I am a head hunter for the erstwhile soviet nuclear scientists who Hooke's them up with the governments of rouge third world countries",extending my hand for a shake and expecting a surprised and dumb look ...."Oh really....i work as a part time mercenary for the Ethiopian rebels who intend to legalise the conflict diamond trade ...i am currently the second-in-command ....interesting... how come we never met " ..boyy i never thought she would come up with something like this ..almost there...one of my famous foot-in-mouth situations...this was enough to generate a laughter that only subsided about 15 mins later...here was someone that i might just take a Little interest in... i thought..... This continued with some more of my PJ's ...
"Seriously" she said .." tell me what do you do "....loosening the neck tie and trying to relax on the bean bag .....i said ..well i am an Analyst with a consulting firm and we do Software customization for the data configuration of several MNCs ....."Sooooooooo"...with a look as if she had seen a pre-historic dino creature or heard an Original Composition by Anu malik ....btw that elongated "oooo" in her "sooo" still rings in my ears and is one reason i dont listen to Himesh reshamia anymore...she continued... "are you saying that you are one of those mumbo-jumbo desi-samosa guys who fill in numbers into some coloured columns in Microsoft excel from 8 in the morning to 10 in the night" ....
For an instant I lost what she was saying as the "oooo" was still reverberating in my ears ....
"Life around ....
"Excel "
"Sirff excel ....hmmm ...Sad hai na ".... she said ....
" ...surf excel.. what!!! ....well not always... also Aerial and Nirma super some times ..."
" ouch ...." ....it hurts da .....i said holding out my shoulder.....
"Seriously" she said .." tell me what do you do "....loosening the neck tie and trying to relax on the bean bag .....i said ..well i am an Analyst with a consulting firm and we do Software customization for the data configuration of several MNCs ....."Sooooooooo"...with a look as if she had seen a pre-historic dino creature or heard an Original Composition by Anu malik ....btw that elongated "oooo" in her "sooo" still rings in my ears and is one reason i dont listen to Himesh reshamia anymore...she continued... "are you saying that you are one of those mumbo-jumbo desi-samosa guys who fill in numbers into some coloured columns in Microsoft excel from 8 in the morning to 10 in the night" ....
For an instant I lost what she was saying as the "oooo" was still reverberating in my ears ....
"Life around ....
"Excel "
"Sirff excel ....hmmm ...Sad hai na ".... she said ....
" ...surf excel.. what!!! ....well not always... also Aerial and Nirma super some times ..."
" ouch ...." ....it hurts da .....i said holding out my shoulder.....
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
The Great Indian MBA Dream....
Fews days back i was going through an interview published in an old business Magazine."Management education and associated economic growth in the India" it read.
It was very interesting to hear one of the directors of IIMs exquisitly differentiating the MBA education in india as compared to the rest of the world.Its only in india that a majority of an MBA class is comprised of Grads just out of college with no or very little prior industry experience.He said that in india the eduction system is a continues process.That is, an Average indian student undergoes various levels of eduction in sequential order.If there is a break its difficult to fit into the system again.Also there is a huge potential and constant discontent that is seen in them which finally leads to these pattern.Then he went on to explain the advantages and disadvantages of this.I totally agreed with him. But that thought remained.....
As Thomas Edison once said "Its not brilliance but restlessness and discontent with what we have, that actually fuels growth" .I always believed thats this is the truth.Its this restlessness and discontent that has shaped into what iam today.Talking of MBA,there is very strong debate in the Academic circles as to why there is such a mad rush among the Engineers to get an MBA degree.As per the Statistics,majority of the Engineering graduates today tend to get into the B-schools right after the college.Well, i did take a dig at the CAT exam and ended up getting gracefully rejected at two IIMs.But its tough to explain why most engineers want an MBA degree.Would pursuing an MBA right out of the College really help you shape a career in the industry and company ofyour chioce.I have been in the technology consulting domain for some time now and believe me if you really intend to do anything meaningful to you career in here, an MBA is a must.That too with some domain knowledge and the nuances of the trade.With the explosion in the IT and the ITES sector jobs and the booming economy at home ,management edcuation has seen a tremendous growth.Given a choice folks now would investment into an MBA degree than an M.S degree from a University in the US.The choice is quite evidant as with definate returns from day one or say day zero(MBA placement lingo).An indian MBA degree is a safer bet than anything else.Comming back to the question " Why MBA".Its a tough one to answer.But for me back in the days when i was about finish my under-grad studies...i was mesmerised by the placement reports of the B-schools featuring the top tier consulting firms recruiting the indian B-grads.Probably it was those dreams of wearing black suits(MIB types)and sitting in the high raised Manhatten offices that fuelled my dreams.But its not that fancy i hear .....Most of my friends who have done their MBA give me a direct and less obfuscating answer when i put across this question.Its the flexibilty to go into another domain thats more fascinating than the fat pay cheques.Its true, an MBA gives you the flexibility to go into say investment banking from IT services , into marketing from from Banking services ...in short the sky is the limit....
It was very interesting to hear one of the directors of IIMs exquisitly differentiating the MBA education in india as compared to the rest of the world.Its only in india that a majority of an MBA class is comprised of Grads just out of college with no or very little prior industry experience.He said that in india the eduction system is a continues process.That is, an Average indian student undergoes various levels of eduction in sequential order.If there is a break its difficult to fit into the system again.Also there is a huge potential and constant discontent that is seen in them which finally leads to these pattern.Then he went on to explain the advantages and disadvantages of this.I totally agreed with him. But that thought remained.....
As Thomas Edison once said "Its not brilliance but restlessness and discontent with what we have, that actually fuels growth" .I always believed thats this is the truth.Its this restlessness and discontent that has shaped into what iam today.Talking of MBA,there is very strong debate in the Academic circles as to why there is such a mad rush among the Engineers to get an MBA degree.As per the Statistics,majority of the Engineering graduates today tend to get into the B-schools right after the college.Well, i did take a dig at the CAT exam and ended up getting gracefully rejected at two IIMs.But its tough to explain why most engineers want an MBA degree.Would pursuing an MBA right out of the College really help you shape a career in the industry and company ofyour chioce.I have been in the technology consulting domain for some time now and believe me if you really intend to do anything meaningful to you career in here, an MBA is a must.That too with some domain knowledge and the nuances of the trade.With the explosion in the IT and the ITES sector jobs and the booming economy at home ,management edcuation has seen a tremendous growth.Given a choice folks now would investment into an MBA degree than an M.S degree from a University in the US.The choice is quite evidant as with definate returns from day one or say day zero(MBA placement lingo).An indian MBA degree is a safer bet than anything else.Comming back to the question " Why MBA".Its a tough one to answer.But for me back in the days when i was about finish my under-grad studies...i was mesmerised by the placement reports of the B-schools featuring the top tier consulting firms recruiting the indian B-grads.Probably it was those dreams of wearing black suits(MIB types)and sitting in the high raised Manhatten offices that fuelled my dreams.But its not that fancy i hear .....Most of my friends who have done their MBA give me a direct and less obfuscating answer when i put across this question.Its the flexibilty to go into another domain thats more fascinating than the fat pay cheques.Its true, an MBA gives you the flexibility to go into say investment banking from IT services , into marketing from from Banking services ...in short the sky is the limit....
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
The Merits of Mediocracy ....
Mediocracy is an intrinsic property of a lazy mind ....The average indian mind is mediocre or is it the lack of oppurtunity that has turned it so .... The great indian IT revolution is a by product of that state of affairs ...why do i always end up cursing the IT field...am an integral part of it ...The fact is simple ..living out side india and working with the client has given me an indepth understanding of the situation....we(read as the IT community of India) are making money by exploiting the poverty of the country ...we should come to terms with the fact that we are a poor country where growth and development are still restricted to a few in the society ....An Average European worker gets 60,000 Euros an Year where as an average indian Consultant doing the same work gets like 8-10 K Euros ..volla see the margin ....To make sure that quality of work is not hindered the companies still retain the best of Local and international talent ( American and European) to get the crucial parts of work like requirement gathering and design done ...the rest of the work like the implmentation ,build and testing are outsourced ......by continuously doing this kinda of work which involves no use of grey cells has indeed turned an entire generation of Indian youth into mediocres....This is better explained by the fact that even though we have the world class infracture in engineering and managements institutes like the IITs and IIMs ,we havent managed to produce a Goolge or Facebook kinda company ... our enigneers are doing wonders in the US ...their research in the US universities and Labs are producing great results .... they are the best indian brains but we are loosing them thanks to the state of affairs ...i guess i have deviated quite a bit from ....well to put it across in a no nonsense way ....as the meritocracy is slowly lost all the we have with us today is the mediocracy ....a bunch of very well trained youth who can be customised to this mediocre working model ...
Thursday, October 18, 2007
The NameShock .....
"erm....i didnt get it ..can you repeat it .." ...."sorry ...(with a gigantic Q face) ...." ...."how many of you are in that name " ....." i heard that there were 300,000 indian gods ...you name covers most of them ".... a pretty girl said "it sounds like idly sambar ...are you one ???...." ....
yes these are more or less all the reactions that people subject me to when they hear my name ... how would you think i call tell people i meet that my name is Vishnubhatla Venkata Balasubrahmanyam Sai .....uff..it was tough even to type that ...imagine if i try the the famous "Bond ..James Bond" eshtyle...it owld something like this... (you have to picture a cute but dumb girl)
Hey am ..
"Sai "... reaction : hmm......
"Balasubrahmanyam Sai" ... reaction : ohh madrasi ....
"Venkata Balasubrahmanyam Sai " .... reaction: whattt???...
"Vishnubhatla Venkata Balasubrahmanyam Sai " ...how many of you are there in that name ....
funny it might sound ...well it is funny ..not for me though ...i hate the short name guys...they dont have to copy paste their names like i just did .....also shorter names are sexier....a female friend told me ....i nary not elucidate my encounters with women when i try to impress them ....to begin with ...my name itself is the biggest women repeller...we will come to the other great traits of mine that girls just love to hate a little later ...all in all my name is a testimonial for how badly my aunt must have hated me ...incidently its our aunts who name the new borns ...some kinda wierd famiy tradition perhaps...why would somebody name a nice and cute lil kid with such a long name ..after all he was born in the era of the kapoors and the khans of the bollywood ....what would you picture a Vishnubhatla Venkata Balasubrahmanyam Sai to be if you were to know that he was going to be your boss and you were meeting him for the first time ....lemme guess ..it would be a very dark,heavy built south indian guy with a thick moustache and a strong native accent ....and you must looking forward very eagerly to meet him and know that your guess was bang-on....ever thought of the poor fellow who has to sport such a long name where he goes ....imagine if i were to work in a restaurant and had to put on a name tag ....it would certainly start right above my chest pocket but have no clues where would it end .....
yes these are more or less all the reactions that people subject me to when they hear my name ... how would you think i call tell people i meet that my name is Vishnubhatla Venkata Balasubrahmanyam Sai .....uff..it was tough even to type that ...imagine if i try the the famous "Bond ..James Bond" eshtyle...it owld something like this... (you have to picture a cute but dumb girl)
Hey am ..
"Sai "... reaction : hmm......
"Balasubrahmanyam Sai" ... reaction : ohh madrasi ....
"Venkata Balasubrahmanyam Sai " .... reaction: whattt???...
"Vishnubhatla Venkata Balasubrahmanyam Sai " ...how many of you are there in that name ....
funny it might sound ...well it is funny ..not for me though ...i hate the short name guys...they dont have to copy paste their names like i just did .....also shorter names are sexier....a female friend told me ....i nary not elucidate my encounters with women when i try to impress them ....to begin with ...my name itself is the biggest women repeller...we will come to the other great traits of mine that girls just love to hate a little later ...all in all my name is a testimonial for how badly my aunt must have hated me ...incidently its our aunts who name the new borns ...some kinda wierd famiy tradition perhaps...why would somebody name a nice and cute lil kid with such a long name ..after all he was born in the era of the kapoors and the khans of the bollywood ....what would you picture a Vishnubhatla Venkata Balasubrahmanyam Sai to be if you were to know that he was going to be your boss and you were meeting him for the first time ....lemme guess ..it would be a very dark,heavy built south indian guy with a thick moustache and a strong native accent ....and you must looking forward very eagerly to meet him and know that your guess was bang-on....ever thought of the poor fellow who has to sport such a long name where he goes ....imagine if i were to work in a restaurant and had to put on a name tag ....it would certainly start right above my chest pocket but have no clues where would it end .....
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
The 20-20 Mania :
India won the 20-20 word cup....i really enjoyed the match ...the last over ending in a nail biting finish was too much take for a female collegue of mine ..she thought she better check the internet for the final result ....it was indeed a great finish between the to rival fo the sub-continent..though i never expected the less experienced pakistanis to even make it into the finals.... on 25th the team India received a larger than life welcome and shower of money and gifts to the players...a sharp contrast to the reactions for the pathetic performance and early exit of india from the world cup -2007.Today the hockey players of the country have gone on a hungry strike to protest the governments and more painfully the publics apathy towards them.i seriously feel sad for the treatment met by them ..even though they were the winners of the recent Asia cup ..i loved those matches too....its not about the apathy to hockey that bothers me ...but its indias obsession with cricket and cricketers ...i never ate Chavanprash bcoz it was gnaguly promoted it or had boost coz sachin said " boost is the secret of my energy" ....but i love the game...i have played cricket till uniersity ..but some how i was critical about the demi-god status our players enjoy in the country ....
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Yet Another Weekend ...in Office
Yes ,i am spending yet another qruelling weekend in the office ....godd ...i thought i would leave this habit of weekend slogging back in india ..but nop ...i have carried that tradtion to switzerland also .....to switzerland,out of all places on earth ...
SchemaDev(he would come up with the greatest of schemes to make us work)...my manager...called in the morning.."we need to plan for an inter galactic apocolyptic expedition to save the universe`s last remaining energy source ..... " read as ..the daily load from the backend database has failed ...the users are not able to view the reports can you coordinate that ....oops sorry forgot to add can we coordinate it "now", he meant.The very thought of working on the weekend which would certainly not be compensated with another leave....also ....after having really worked hard all through the week is very crappy and creepy....am i happy doing this ....this would certainly need somethingking .....am not whining but its true ....the salary is certainly good ....i am an Onsite coordinator for a multi-milion-dollar project ...i get to work with the client directly ...understand his requirements and transfer it back to the team with the necessary technical inputs .....am just one step away from the coveted BA role ...which i always wanted .After 3 years it still remains a dream as some or the other MBA guy takes it away and i end up coordinating the activities between him and the offshore team.slowly but surely am determined now to take up an MBA to become a Business Analyst ...my much cherished dream job .....
SchemaDev(he would come up with the greatest of schemes to make us work)...my manager...called in the morning.."we need to plan for an inter galactic apocolyptic expedition to save the universe`s last remaining energy source ..... " read as ..the daily load from the backend database has failed ...the users are not able to view the reports can you coordinate that ....oops sorry forgot to add can we coordinate it "now", he meant.The very thought of working on the weekend which would certainly not be compensated with another leave....also ....after having really worked hard all through the week is very crappy and creepy....am i happy doing this ....this would certainly need somethingking .....am not whining but its true ....the salary is certainly good ....i am an Onsite coordinator for a multi-milion-dollar project ...i get to work with the client directly ...understand his requirements and transfer it back to the team with the necessary technical inputs .....am just one step away from the coveted BA role ...which i always wanted .After 3 years it still remains a dream as some or the other MBA guy takes it away and i end up coordinating the activities between him and the offshore team.slowly but surely am determined now to take up an MBA to become a Business Analyst ...my much cherished dream job .....
Friday, September 14, 2007
The ANT Story
We all have read ,heard ,enjoyed and celebrated the Story of Ant and Grass hopper......The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
Here is my MODERN VERSION in the wake the current situation in the world...
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool ,he laughs,drinks Vodka Martini,dances & plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper with no Vodka left, calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.BBC, CNN, EURO-NEWS, NDTV, FOX NEWS,AAJ TAK,KAL TAK,PARSON TAK show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house. Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.Bush Tables a resolution in the security council for UN sanction to attack the ant's house.The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper.Indian Opposition MP's stage a walkout.Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.Aamir Khan and his "Range de Basanti's "Awakened generation" stage a dharna in front of the Ant 's house.The "Secular politicians" comdemn the Ants act as overtly communal in nature.Rock Bands show their solidarity by singing "Six Legged Sucking Satans...the Ants". Which becomes a best seller. Finally, the High End Judicial Committee for Prevention of Terrorism againt Shivering and Hungry Grasshopers(HEJCPCASHG,i bet you remember that) is set up.This is headed by a Retired octagenarian Supreme Court Jugde with one foot in grave and other on his office tabel .After several days of intense enquiry widely convered by the global press, the committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the next winter but with benefits applicable for this one too.
The Ant is Arrested for failing to comply with POTAGA.Having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the US Marines, in a sudden over night Assualt operation code named "operation House Storm".This involves the lastest B-52 Stealth Bombers and CNN brings you a live Covererage named " The Ant Hill" and hand over the house to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by BBC,CNN, AAJ TAK and NDTV.
Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice".Bush calls in a victroy for the Democracy and the English Queen gets the Grasshoper Knighted. Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly . PM Man Mohan Singh says Madam Sonian Gandhi was great soul who sacrificed her office of profit for the Grasshoper's cause.AP C.M Rajshekhar reddy names the Ant's house after Rajiv Gandhi and calls it "Rajiv -Hopper-House"
Here is my MODERN VERSION in the wake the current situation in the world...
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool ,he laughs,drinks Vodka Martini,dances & plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper with no Vodka left, calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.BBC, CNN, EURO-NEWS, NDTV, FOX NEWS,AAJ TAK,KAL TAK,PARSON TAK show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house. Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.Bush Tables a resolution in the security council for UN sanction to attack the ant's house.The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper.Indian Opposition MP's stage a walkout.Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.Aamir Khan and his "Range de Basanti's "Awakened generation" stage a dharna in front of the Ant 's house.The "Secular politicians" comdemn the Ants act as overtly communal in nature.Rock Bands show their solidarity by singing "Six Legged Sucking Satans...the Ants". Which becomes a best seller. Finally, the High End Judicial Committee for Prevention of Terrorism againt Shivering and Hungry Grasshopers(HEJCPCASHG,i bet you remember that) is set up.This is headed by a Retired octagenarian Supreme Court Jugde with one foot in grave and other on his office tabel .After several days of intense enquiry widely convered by the global press, the committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the next winter but with benefits applicable for this one too.
The Ant is Arrested for failing to comply with POTAGA.Having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the US Marines, in a sudden over night Assualt operation code named "operation House Storm".This involves the lastest B-52 Stealth Bombers and CNN brings you a live Covererage named " The Ant Hill" and hand over the house to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by BBC,CNN, AAJ TAK and NDTV.
Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice".Bush calls in a victroy for the Democracy and the English Queen gets the Grasshoper Knighted. Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly . PM Man Mohan Singh says Madam Sonian Gandhi was great soul who sacrificed her office of profit for the Grasshoper's cause.AP C.M Rajshekhar reddy names the Ant's house after Rajiv Gandhi and calls it "Rajiv -Hopper-House"
UP The IRONS
Finally IRON MAIDEN descended to India….and the wait for 17years was worth every moment for every true Maiden fan….
And they left us all with awe of a true Maiden Concert……..And they promised they will be back next year…………..
Couple of my friends and I reached the concert venue at about 2 pm…We had the 1500 Rs pass and we were shocked to see the line for the entrance was going up till the main road….people were waiting from 3 am in the morning……We stood in the queue and finally we entered the arena….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By 3 pm….
We were left gasping for our breath seeing the stage…..20 tons of stage equipment air lifted from UK stood in front of us……there was something on the stage which they covered up with a black cloth…kept everyone guessing about the same……and boy and that was quite a surprise….!!!!!!
The heat was unbearable and understandably there was a mad rush at the Pepsi counters….and it was so much crowded that all the drinks got over in a few hours….the stadium was jam packed in a few hours…….and there wasn’t even a place to stand…we somehow managed to get to the front rows…..we had some talk with some people from Sri lanka…who came all the way just for the concert and were waiting from previous night……..
The show started at 5:30 pm …. The opening act of the evening was FTN from Delhi (Campus Rock Idols Winners ‘ 07). The vocalist was good…but overall their effort was poor….and got a lotta boos and angry words from the audience…..It was followed by Parikrama…
Parikrama was at their natural best…put the crowd on their feet…the violinist was awesome…They sang all from original compositions…..crowd backed it well……
After a thundering applause for Parikrama…..Lauren Harris (Daughter of Steve Harris) took the stage…The guitarist was good….but overall the performance was bad and the people had almost lost their patience for maiden…..”Maiden, maiden” chants were heard all over the place…..finally by 7:30 pm…her show came to a close….and people were waiting for the REAL LIVE ONE….
At 8:00pm…all the lights were out……and the crowd was electric……..and Boom……IRON MAIDEN was on stage……Nico Mcbrain, Steve Harris, Adrian Smith, Janick Gers, Dave Murray and one and only Bruce Dickenson…….They started with a “Different World” from their Brand new album…..”A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH”……”These Colours don’t run”…”Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg” followed….After some more songs….a break followed……and they came back with old warhorses like ……”Hallowed be thy name”,”Wrath Child”,”Iron Moiden”………..
During the concert Bruce climbed up the Titan Tron till its top….and shouted…….he was jumping all aroung the place with raw energy……
During “Evil that men do”, a prop of a huge military tank came up…with its fuming barrel towards the crowd……On top of it Eddie came up with his goggles like a soldier...this drove the already frenzied crowd wild……Eddie came up the stage with a military uniform with a machine gun….after the song he left the stage….
When it was all said and done, the Band took a snap with crowd on the background…….when all dust was settled people were ecstatic with the performance and had no words for it…….
There were a couple of complaints like the duration of 1:43mts of the show and Bruce’s voice was subdued in the first session n stuff……But when we walked back…..we saw a person with his crutches…..walking back out of the arena…..that was the salute to one of greatest bands of all…..
List of tracks they played( not necessarily in the order”)
1) Different World
2) These Colours Don’t Run
3) Brighter than thousand suns
4) The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg
5) For the Greater Good of God
6) Fear of the dark
7) Hallowed be Thy name
8) Number of the beast
9) Run to the hills
10) The trooper
11) Iron Maiden
12) Wrathchild
13) The Evil That Men Do
14) 2 minutes to midnight
we will see them perform next time in India
till then UP THE IRONS……………
And they left us all with awe of a true Maiden Concert……..And they promised they will be back next year…………..
Couple of my friends and I reached the concert venue at about 2 pm…We had the 1500 Rs pass and we were shocked to see the line for the entrance was going up till the main road….people were waiting from 3 am in the morning……We stood in the queue and finally we entered the arena….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By 3 pm….
We were left gasping for our breath seeing the stage…..20 tons of stage equipment air lifted from UK stood in front of us……there was something on the stage which they covered up with a black cloth…kept everyone guessing about the same……and boy and that was quite a surprise….!!!!!!
The heat was unbearable and understandably there was a mad rush at the Pepsi counters….and it was so much crowded that all the drinks got over in a few hours….the stadium was jam packed in a few hours…….and there wasn’t even a place to stand…we somehow managed to get to the front rows…..we had some talk with some people from Sri lanka…who came all the way just for the concert and were waiting from previous night……..
The show started at 5:30 pm …. The opening act of the evening was FTN from Delhi (Campus Rock Idols Winners ‘ 07). The vocalist was good…but overall their effort was poor….and got a lotta boos and angry words from the audience…..It was followed by Parikrama…
Parikrama was at their natural best…put the crowd on their feet…the violinist was awesome…They sang all from original compositions…..crowd backed it well……
After a thundering applause for Parikrama…..Lauren Harris (Daughter of Steve Harris) took the stage…The guitarist was good….but overall the performance was bad and the people had almost lost their patience for maiden…..”Maiden, maiden” chants were heard all over the place…..finally by 7:30 pm…her show came to a close….and people were waiting for the REAL LIVE ONE….
At 8:00pm…all the lights were out……and the crowd was electric……..and Boom……IRON MAIDEN was on stage……Nico Mcbrain, Steve Harris, Adrian Smith, Janick Gers, Dave Murray and one and only Bruce Dickenson…….They started with a “Different World” from their Brand new album…..”A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH”……”These Colours don’t run”…”Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg” followed….After some more songs….a break followed……and they came back with old warhorses like ……”Hallowed be thy name”,”Wrath Child”,”Iron Moiden”………..
During the concert Bruce climbed up the Titan Tron till its top….and shouted…….he was jumping all aroung the place with raw energy……
During “Evil that men do”, a prop of a huge military tank came up…with its fuming barrel towards the crowd……On top of it Eddie came up with his goggles like a soldier...this drove the already frenzied crowd wild……Eddie came up the stage with a military uniform with a machine gun….after the song he left the stage….
When it was all said and done, the Band took a snap with crowd on the background…….when all dust was settled people were ecstatic with the performance and had no words for it…….
There were a couple of complaints like the duration of 1:43mts of the show and Bruce’s voice was subdued in the first session n stuff……But when we walked back…..we saw a person with his crutches…..walking back out of the arena…..that was the salute to one of greatest bands of all…..
List of tracks they played( not necessarily in the order”)
1) Different World
2) These Colours Don’t Run
3) Brighter than thousand suns
4) The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg
5) For the Greater Good of God
6) Fear of the dark
7) Hallowed be Thy name
8) Number of the beast
9) Run to the hills
10) The trooper
11) Iron Maiden
12) Wrathchild
13) The Evil That Men Do
14) 2 minutes to midnight
we will see them perform next time in India
till then UP THE IRONS……………
S/W Engineer Ki Shaadi
Hero is a software engineer. He does not have a life worth speaking of.He spends eighteen hours a day in the office working and browsing the net.Heroine is a software engineer in the same company. She does not have a life either. She spends eight hours in front of her PC, thirteen hoursin front of the TV and the remaining, sleeping.One day, Hero meets Heroine in a staff meeting. They argue endlessly about the insanity of Microsoft applications.. especially Outlook 2003.Couple of such fights later, Heroine is found drinking coffee with Hero in Office canteen."What is life?" asks the Hero looking at the vacuum right above her head."I've been wondering too." sighs the heroine."Why are we fighting over Outlook 2003?" Hero drinks his black coffee."And why are we not talking about Lotus NOtes" Heroine sips her Latte.Hero shakes his head. "It's not about software products. It is about life. I guess life is much bigger than OUtlook 2003." Heroine nods. "I think it is. I am not sure though. Do you know that Microsoft has come up with a fix to that bug you've been using to prove Outlook is a worthless piece of garbage?" "Heroine," Hero is now determined, "From this moment onwards, I am not discussing anything remotely related to software." "Fine Hero," says Heroine, "Good bye then." Hero then returns all the Sybase manuals to the library and rents out "how to live a life?" Heroine meanwhile gets into an altercation with the villain during a conversation on Sharepoint server. Villain vows to format the hard disk of the heroine. Heroine takes her PC and runs away from the cubicle trying to escape from the villain's evil intentions. Since it is night shift, no one comes to her rescue.Hero, who has been reading "how to live a life" very seriously, suddenly finds out that he loves the heroine as much as he used to love Tetris.So hero messages Heroine on Yahoo Instant messenger. But there is no reply. Hero does not understand it. He knows that the heroine is supposed to be in night shift. What is she doing in Night shift if not on Yahoo Instant Messenger? As far as he know that is what people are supposed to do in night shift.Hero senses trouble. He runs barefooted on the Information Superhighway and reaches office just in time to see the villain snatch the PC out of heroine's hands and type the command "Format C:\". When his fingers get to the "Enter" key, hero delivers the killer punch on villain's face.Villain is thrown back. But in the process he manages to press the Enter key...The world comes to a standstill. The sky roars. The Rain pours.Heroine breaks down. Villain is on cloud nine. But our Hero isn't sad.He is smiling. Villain cannot understand. Hero then says, "Villain, You should learn DOS properly. Your grave mistake...". He shows the monitor to Villain. The DOS command prompt says "Are you sure?". It is waiting for a "Y" to commence the formatting operation. Hero then simply presses "N".Villain cries in frustration "Nooooooo" and charges like a bull. Then follows a lengthy fight. Heroine meanwhile calls the police and they come right after hero beats the villain to pulp. Without asking any questions, the police understand who is hero and who is villain and take him into custody. Heroine, tears in her eyes, takes her PC, switches it on and jumps with joy when she finds her favorite Calvin and Hobbes collection intact in her C drive."You saved my data" she exclaims."No, you saved it yourself." hero says."No.. Jesus saves. I don't" she cries."Nothing happened na." Hero consoles."Let us get married" heroine sheds some more tears, "I want someone by my side to protect the Calvin and Hobbes collection on my PC".
"I love you Heroine" says the hero.
"I love you Hero" says the heroine.
"So you agree that Outlook 2003 is a bad product".
"No I don't. Why not we talk about Lotus nOtes?” ... And it goes on . .
"I love you Heroine" says the hero.
"I love you Hero" says the heroine.
"So you agree that Outlook 2003 is a bad product".
"No I don't. Why not we talk about Lotus nOtes?” ... And it goes on . .
Friday, January 5, 2007
I Finally Found Her
Yes,i finally found what i had been looking out for ....i didnt get it in a 36-24-36 package of the well maintained flesh and skin or like the Apple vodka martini with an olive dipped in it... all you dirty minds out there give your partially functional brain lobes a break...what i am talking is not even close to what you have been thinking so far......well....i found the escense of living ..thats what it is.... so...oh yaa...so what the heck about that.... the next logical question ..aint it...well.. the answer is this small incident that has left me with lots of food for thought and possibly an indelible impression on my mind and soul.
It was dark and foggy staurday evening..erm..was it night....actually not very sure about either of them...poor memory you see ...as usual i was done with the routine slogging in front of my 17 inch girl friend(my PC you see...not again) and returned back home with a heavy head filled with frustrasion of having to work on the week end. this frustration can take its toll on the poor pillow which becomes a make shift sand bag and i punch it hard assuming it was my boss...so....i come home finally and see Kamala bai...our servent maid...busily finishing with her job...she was absent for three days and my home anything but habitable ...reminding me of the Nazi era ghettos.......heaps of waste had gathered all around the house......she gave this "hello sir" kinda smile and i with all my "frustu" filled eyes barely even noticed that....i went striaght into my room and tossed my Company tag on to my bed with all the energy that was left in me....the sound of plastic hitting the ground after tossing from the linen bed was loud enough to divert Kamala bai's attension towards my room... she came with a broom in her hand...gave me that "what happened beta" kinda look...i returned to my senses and quickly collectd my tag and placed it at the right place ....it gave me a sense of embarrasment.........her presence and my odd behaviour and the sudden outburst of emotions.... ........"what happended sir ji....you look very unhappy today"......she asked cleaning up the mess ....i shrugged my shoulders as if nothing had happened...tring my best to keep a striaght face i tried asking her as to why was absent for three days....my voice was anything but demanding...somehow i could never get bossy with servant maids....at home it was "lakshmi"...a septagenarian women... almost twice my mom's age ...who pratically raised me and brother.....we used to call her "Amma" and here it was Kamala Bai....a fifty plus old women...whom we call "mousi"..hindi for Aunt....
It was dark and foggy staurday evening..erm..was it night....actually not very sure about either of them...poor memory you see ...as usual i was done with the routine slogging in front of my 17 inch girl friend(my PC you see...not again) and returned back home with a heavy head filled with frustrasion of having to work on the week end. this frustration can take its toll on the poor pillow which becomes a make shift sand bag and i punch it hard assuming it was my boss...so....i come home finally and see Kamala bai...our servent maid...busily finishing with her job...she was absent for three days and my home anything but habitable ...reminding me of the Nazi era ghettos.......heaps of waste had gathered all around the house......she gave this "hello sir" kinda smile and i with all my "frustu" filled eyes barely even noticed that....i went striaght into my room and tossed my Company tag on to my bed with all the energy that was left in me....the sound of plastic hitting the ground after tossing from the linen bed was loud enough to divert Kamala bai's attension towards my room... she came with a broom in her hand...gave me that "what happened beta" kinda look...i returned to my senses and quickly collectd my tag and placed it at the right place ....it gave me a sense of embarrasment.........her presence and my odd behaviour and the sudden outburst of emotions.... ........"what happended sir ji....you look very unhappy today"......she asked cleaning up the mess ....i shrugged my shoulders as if nothing had happened...tring my best to keep a striaght face i tried asking her as to why was absent for three days....my voice was anything but demanding...somehow i could never get bossy with servant maids....at home it was "lakshmi"...a septagenarian women... almost twice my mom's age ...who pratically raised me and brother.....we used to call her "Amma" and here it was Kamala Bai....a fifty plus old women...whom we call "mousi"..hindi for Aunt....
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