Some Calvanisms ......

Iam using Work as a pretext for not posting any new entry on my not so famous blog.....till then enjoy some calvanisms ....

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge.

This is my favourite ...... :-)

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

Where do we keep all our chainsaws, Mom?

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.

Its no use! Everybody gets good enemies except me.

What's the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?

As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.

This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen ...

I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing.

I have a hammer! I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while! Ah, it's great to be male!

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information

C: "Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man?"

H: "I'm not sure that man needs the help."

Leave a comment to add more soem of your favourites ......

They are all around us .....

"Dude ....i must have eaten like 3 dosas by now....and thats odd"
"Hmm...so whats the whole point here .......he said"
My stomach aches a little ..thats the whole point....i said with "what !! " face .....
"Wait a minute .....i ate 4 ...thats even ....but my stomach does not ache....see its not about even or odd number of dosas.... its just that your stomach`s screwed."

aaahh....gawddddd .....iam gone now ....enough of this ......

The Greedy Warrior.......

This is my first attempt at some serious poetry

Alas! I found the land of the magic lamps
Running the deserts and the deadly swamps
Now, show me the rubies and the bags of Gold
For I vanquished the men mighty and bold

The Lads of the land that had fought me along
Wielding their swords short and so long
Piercing and killing I spilt in their blood
For mercy and pity I had none to shed

The lands of the Gold so vast I had seen
Gardens of sapphires so shiny and serene
Hours had passed as I stared and I saw
Like a statue of stone I stood there in Awe

Sweet as the nectars were the songs that I heard
Wondered what Angel had blessed this lovely bird
A maiden I saw so lovely than thought
Reward for the wars i had so long fought

Fairer than fairies as gentle as dove
A beauty she made me fall in her love
Years of wisdom I left there to rot
Drunk in that beauty I followed her path

Maiden she took me to the fountains of wine
Nectars I drank, so sweet and so fine
Lost in her eyes I ceased being strong
Drunken in lust I didn’t know what was wrong

Holding my hands said come with me Oh! My dear
For those lands of gold are not so near
Closing my eyes said magic spells in my ears
Made me realise the worst of my fears

Greatest of the fighters my swords had they killed
Greed had made me too weak and ill willed
Digging that dagger deep into my chest
She put to a sleep which I could not resist

Darker the lands when i opened my eyes
Paying the price for the lust and the vice
Gone were the rubies and the gardens of gold
For lost all the wisdom I was once being told

In greed of the gold I searched every door
For it’s sweeter than the touch of the wine or a whore
For greed is the Pain and Greed is the vice
It’s the demon that kills you in a lovely disguise

------ Sai

Surf Excel ..nahi nahi ..Sirf Excel...

So the coffee arrives on the table...the strong aroma of the coffee filled the room and diverted my attention to the coffee mugs ...... naturally being a moron at dealing with pretty women, i did not realise that this lady was trying to start a conversation......"What do you do?" she asked...Hmmm ..... good question.....one of those standard "lets cut the ice " kinda question ... "well ,I am a head hunter for the erstwhile soviet nuclear scientists who Hooke's them up with the governments of rouge third world countries",extending my hand for a shake and expecting a surprised and dumb look ...."Oh really....i work as a part time mercenary for the Ethiopian rebels who intend to legalise the conflict diamond trade ...i am currently the second-in-command ....interesting... how come we never met " ..boyy i never thought she would come up with something like this ..almost there...one of my famous foot-in-mouth situations...this was enough to generate a laughter that only subsided about 15 mins later...here was someone that i might just take a Little interest in... i thought..... This continued with some more of my PJ's ...
"Seriously" she said .." tell me what do you do "....loosening the neck tie and trying to relax on the bean bag .....i said ..well i am an Analyst with a consulting firm and we do Software customization for the data configuration of several MNCs ....."Sooooooooo"...with a look as if she had seen a pre-historic dino creature or heard an Original Composition by Anu malik ....btw that elongated "oooo" in her "sooo" still rings in my ears and is one reason i dont listen to Himesh reshamia anymore...she continued... "are you saying that you are one of those mumbo-jumbo desi-samosa guys who fill in numbers into some coloured columns in Microsoft excel from 8 in the morning to 10 in the night" ....
For an instant I lost what she was saying as the "oooo" was still reverberating in my ears ....

"Life around ....

"Excel "

"Sirff excel ....hmmm ...Sad hai na ".... she said ....

" ...surf excel.. what!!! ....well not always... also Aerial and Nirma super some times ..."

" ouch ...." ....it hurts da .....i said holding out my shoulder.....

The Great Indian MBA Dream....

Fews days back i was going through an interview published in an old business Magazine."Management education and associated economic growth in the India" it read.
It was very interesting to hear one of the directors of IIMs exquisitly differentiating the MBA education in india as compared to the rest of the world.Its only in india that a majority of an MBA class is comprised of Grads just out of college with no or very little prior industry experience.He said that in india the eduction system is a continues process.That is, an Average indian student undergoes various levels of eduction in sequential order.If there is a break its difficult to fit into the system again.Also there is a huge potential and constant discontent that is seen in them which finally leads to these pattern.Then he went on to explain the advantages and disadvantages of this.I totally agreed with him. But that thought remained.....
As Thomas Edison once said "Its not brilliance but restlessness and discontent with what we have, that actually fuels growth" .I always believed thats this is the truth.Its this restlessness and discontent that has shaped into what iam today.Talking of MBA,there is very strong debate in the Academic circles as to why there is such a mad rush among the Engineers to get an MBA degree.As per the Statistics,majority of the Engineering graduates today tend to get into the B-schools right after the college.Well, i did take a dig at the CAT exam and ended up getting gracefully rejected at two IIMs.But its tough to explain why most engineers want an MBA degree.Would pursuing an MBA right out of the College really help you shape a career in the industry and company ofyour chioce.I have been in the technology consulting domain for some time now and believe me if you really intend to do anything meaningful to you career in here, an MBA is a must.That too with some domain knowledge and the nuances of the trade.With the explosion in the IT and the ITES sector jobs and the booming economy at home ,management edcuation has seen a tremendous growth.Given a choice folks now would investment into an MBA degree than an M.S degree from a University in the US.The choice is quite evidant as with definate returns from day one or say day zero(MBA placement lingo).An indian MBA degree is a safer bet than anything else.Comming back to the question " Why MBA".Its a tough one to answer.But for me back in the days when i was about finish my under-grad studies...i was mesmerised by the placement reports of the B-schools featuring the top tier consulting firms recruiting the indian B-grads.Probably it was those dreams of wearing black suits(MIB types)and sitting in the high raised Manhatten offices that fuelled my dreams.But its not that fancy i hear .....Most of my friends who have done their MBA give me a direct and less obfuscating answer when i put across this question.Its the flexibilty to go into another domain thats more fascinating than the fat pay cheques.Its true, an MBA gives you the flexibility to go into say investment banking from IT services , into marketing from from Banking services ...in short the sky is the limit....

The Merits of Mediocracy ....

Mediocracy is an intrinsic property of a lazy mind ....The average indian mind is mediocre or is it the lack of oppurtunity that has turned it so .... The great indian IT revolution is a by product of that state of affairs ...why do i always end up cursing the IT field...am an integral part of it ...The fact is simple ..living out side india and working with the client has given me an indepth understanding of the situation....we(read as the IT community of India) are making money by exploiting the poverty of the country ...we should come to terms with the fact that we are a poor country where growth and development are still restricted to a few in the society ....An Average European worker gets 60,000 Euros an Year where as an average indian Consultant doing the same work gets like 8-10 K Euros ..volla see the margin ....To make sure that quality of work is not hindered the companies still retain the best of Local and international talent ( American and European) to get the crucial parts of work like requirement gathering and design done ...the rest of the work like the implmentation ,build and testing are outsourced ......by continuously doing this kinda of work which involves no use of grey cells has indeed turned an entire generation of Indian youth into mediocres....This is better explained by the fact that even though we have the world class infracture in engineering and managements institutes like the IITs and IIMs ,we havent managed to produce a Goolge or Facebook kinda company ... our enigneers are doing wonders in the US ...their research in the US universities and Labs are producing great results .... they are the best indian brains but we are loosing them thanks to the state of affairs ...i guess i have deviated quite a bit from ....well to put it across in a no nonsense way ....as the meritocracy is slowly lost all the we have with us today is the mediocracy ....a bunch of very well trained youth who can be customised to this mediocre working model ...

The NameShock .....

"erm....i didnt get it ..can you repeat it .." ...."sorry ...(with a gigantic Q face) ...." ...."how many of you are in that name " ....." i heard that there were 300,000 indian gods ...you name covers most of them ".... a pretty girl said "it sounds like idly sambar ...are you one ???...." ....
yes these are more or less all the reactions that people subject me to when they hear my name ... how would you think i call tell people i meet that my name is Vishnubhatla Venkata Balasubrahmanyam Sai .....uff..it was tough even to type that ...imagine if i try the the famous "Bond ..James Bond" eshtyle...it owld something like this... (you have to picture a cute but dumb girl)

Hey am ..
"Sai "... reaction : hmm......
"Balasubrahmanyam Sai" ... reaction : ohh madrasi ....
"Venkata Balasubrahmanyam Sai " .... reaction: whattt???...
"Vishnubhatla Venkata Balasubrahmanyam Sai " ...how many of you are there in that name ....

funny it might sound ...well it is funny ..not for me though ...i hate the short name guys...they dont have to copy paste their names like i just did .....also shorter names are sexier....a female friend told me ....i nary not elucidate my encounters with women when i try to impress them ....to begin with ...my name itself is the biggest women repeller...we will come to the other great traits of mine that girls just love to hate a little later ...all in all my name is a testimonial for how badly my aunt must have hated me ...incidently its our aunts who name the new borns ...some kinda wierd famiy tradition perhaps...why would somebody name a nice and cute lil kid with such a long name ..after all he was born in the era of the kapoors and the khans of the bollywood ....what would you picture a Vishnubhatla Venkata Balasubrahmanyam Sai to be if you were to know that he was going to be your boss and you were meeting him for the first time ....lemme guess ..it would be a very dark,heavy built south indian guy with a thick moustache and a strong native accent ....and you must looking forward very eagerly to meet him and know that your guess was bang-on....ever thought of the poor fellow who has to sport such a long name where he goes ....imagine if i were to work in a restaurant and had to put on a name tag ....it would certainly start right above my chest pocket but have no clues where would it end .....